I hate mayonnaise! I didn’t eat a taco or even touch a salad until I was 16. My mom had the hardest time trying to cook anything that I would eat growing up.
It’s one of the few things I could control as a kid, what I put into my mouth. What I couldn’t control was that people who are supposed to love me (like my dad), sometimes abandon you, physically and emotionally.
As a kid, my automatic reaction was to figure out how to avoid having that happen, EVER again. Having control, I thought gave me safety from others who I couldn’t rely on. No reliance meant no danger.
I sought “safety” in two ways:
1. I controlled myself so I was never too much or too little of anything like a hyper vigilant drill sergeant. This way no one would get disappointed in me and leave.