Thursday, July 24, 2014

No One is Coming For You

Sometimes I feel like I am stranded in the middle of the ocean on a row boat. I row as hard as I can, I
row through exhaustion, fear, despair and stress; and as hard as I row I still find myself in the middle of the ocean, no land in sight.

So then I stop rowing, I get sad but I'm too afraid (or to proud) to actually feel that so I lie there in isolation, unwilling to move or do anything until I get scared enough to do something again.

All the while, hoping that someone will rescue me, that some how someone will find me, see that I need help and bring me to shore.

This is how the child of an absent father goes through life. We try as hard as we can, we work harder, we do more, we suffer, we do anything to achieve.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

So You Wanna Live a Great Life? Here's How. Really.

Fundamental to living a great life, in fact, the very critical root of it lies in your ability to relate to
yourself as your highest and best. We tend to use the "results" of our life to determine our worthiness. This is the critical error human beings must unlearn to live a fulfilled life.

People with absent or distant fathers are particularly prone to making this error. When a child's father is disconnected, physically or emotionally, that child inevitably decides that there must be something wrong with them. Children rely on their fathers as the one human being on the planet that should tell them they're doing a good job, that affirms them and that reminds them that their worth is not tied to their results. Fathers let children know that their worth is inherent and dependent not on what they do but who they are.

You will know that you are making this error in judgment because your state of joy goes up and down based on your account balances, how hard you worked today or what you achieved recently.