Kids with absent or distant fathers are often missing that foundational belief in themselves. Absent aloving and present father, kids are forced to fend for themselves and create their belief in themselves on their own with no guidance or backstop.
It’s why so many of us became so independent at a young age. We craved appreciation and encouragement and someone to believe in us, to see our greatness and recognize it, and in the face of not getting that met from a father (who should have been the sole provider of that) we were forced to try to manufacture belief in ourselves with our own unsteady willpower.
We became independent so we could avoid the disappointment of another person letting us down. We decided to fend for ourselves, not trust others and to take control of our belief in ourselves like we took control of everything else.