Monday, February 4, 2013

My Growing Up Fatherless Story

I grew up having never even seen a picture of my father.  My Mom and him were casually dating, when he found out, he split.  I finally met him when I was 13 and having had the opportunity was ultimately thankful that he hadn't been my "Dad."  That word "Dad," a word that I can never say, a word that represents a hole in little Rodney's heart who never had his.

By then, the heartbreak and its impacts were firmly cemented.  In fact, by age 5 or so, I don't even remember having a feeling one way or the other about not having a father in my life like the other kids.
I believe this is the nature of the heartbreak for so many men who grow up with an absent or distant father.  We don't even know we are heartbroken because it's been there our whole life.

Up until around the age of 25, I hadn't really had any feelings at all about growing up without a father.  Thank God, I found a deeply connected and rigorous life coach training program that challenged me to look at my fears, feelings and stories that I tell myself.  That's when I began to unravel how growing up fatherless was impacting my career and relationships.  I learned how it keeps from fully experiencing the love of others, how it has me closed and protected, how I place a subconscious limit on my potential.

Today, through a lot of work on myself, a lot of reading, therapy and coaching, I now have some altitude on my story.  I have begun shifting the story that I'm just an abandoned, worthless kid out of the way.  Every step forward has given me more access to my greatness, more opportunity to be loved and more joy.  I want you to escape this story too.

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