Would you call yourself a procrastinator, while others might call you an overachiever? Do others
marvel at your achievements while you relate to yourself as lazy?
Do you need deadlines and goals to "motivate" yourself and keep you from complete withdrawal?
Lots of questions here, but what we are really looking at is what drives you. Recently, I have uncovered how much I am driven by drama. People wouldn't neccesarily call me dramatic, but I thrive on drama. Drama in my finances, drama in my fitness, drama in my eating, even drama in going to the bathroom.
What I mean by drama is that I'm constantly running from a cycle of achieve/avoid/achieve/avoid/achieve/avoid. It's like I need the drama in order to take action. If I don't see the immediate payoff I put it off.
With food, I often find myself putting off eating until the last possible moment when I'm starving. With money, I just try to make enough to not have to look at it which creates a long running drama of enough and not enough.
This drama creates a narrow space to exist, somewhere between not too bad and not too much. Its completely safe and I find it difficult to let go of because I've used this way of being to achieve things.
It's safe because I'm never too much for others and at the same time not too little. It's drama that keeps me small.
So what do I do with that?
Take the simple, boring steps and actions as a practice.
Take out the ambiguity in your finances.
Stop creating so much drama about the food you eat.
I totally relate to what you have written Rodney.ReplyDelete
Although it may be familiar (and seemingly safe), in my opinion it is unhealthy and if I am honest I often wonder how much more I could achieve if I was released from this drama cycle.
I have raised the issue of drama with an ex-life coach of mine and she posted the following back to me via FB:
'When is 'enough' enough? When will you cut yourself some slack and realise life isn't meant to be that hard, toxic or confusing. Slow down long enough to make time for your truth to bubble up through your heart and heed it's call for you to wake up, take charge and decide to claim the happiness, peace and flow that results from aligning your thoughts, words and actions with your core values and truth. Be strong. Have faith. You CAN do it! Jx'
Being strong and having faith...if we would only all realise that it is actually this easy...the drama would fall away, but for those of us who thrive on drama, releasing said drama is no easy task.
Great post btw!
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